職人への憧れ② /Longing to be a craftsman

特にこれと言ってやりたい事も

見つからず時間だけが過ぎていた。

そんなふらふらしていた

自分を見ていた親が

業を煮やしてある会社で働かない

かと持ちかけた。

はっきりとやりたい事も決まらないし

今まで散々好き勝手やってきたし、

親の言うことでも聞いてみるかと

思い、その会社に入社した。

大阪で１ヶ月間新人研修を受け

後に自分は群馬県の前橋に

配属が決まった。

会社組織で働くことは

もちろん初めて。

バイトとは訳が違う。

仕事内容は営業回り。

毎日営業車に商品を積み込み

新規顧客獲得をしていく。

どうしようもなく普段から

無口な自分にとっては

それが苦痛で苦痛で（笑）

愛想笑いしながら

先輩達の言う事も聞きながら

自分なりに頑張った。

でも、日が経つにつれ

なんかこれ違うんじゃないか？

自分には余り向いていないな・・。

と徐々に思い始めた。

親の面目丸潰れだが

１年で辞めたいと申し入れたが、

もう１年やってくれと上司から懇願

されそれを断れず

もう１年会社員生活をした。

これはやはり自分の

やりたいことではない。

本当の自分を押し殺しながら

生きていくのはやはりごめんだ。

自分の心の奥底の声に耳を傾けた。

そんな毎日を過ごす日々の中で

自分の腕一本で生きていく職人の姿に

ぼんやりと憧れを持つ様になった・・・・。

（続く）

I couldn't find anything in particular I wanted to do,

and time just passed by.

Seeing me drifting aimlessly like that,

my parents finally lost patience

and suggested I work at a certain company.

I hadn't clearly decided what I wanted to do,

and I'd done pretty much whatever I wanted up until then,

so I figured I might as well listen to my parents for once

and joined that company.

After a month of new employee training in Osaka,

I was assigned to Maebashi in Gunma Prefecture.

Working within a company structure

was, of course, a first for me.

It was a whole different ballgame from part-time work.

My job was sales calls.

Every day, I loaded products into the company car

and went out to acquire new customers.

For someone as hopelessly

quiet as I am,

it was pure torture,

pure torture (laughs).

I forced polite smiles,

listened to my seniors' advice,

and did my best in my own way.

But as the days passed,

I started thinking,

"Wait, isn't this wrong?

This isn't really suited to me..."

It would completely ruin my parents' reputation,

but I requested to quit after a year.

My boss begged me to stay just one more year,

and I couldn't refuse,

so I endured another year of corporate life.

This really wasn't

what I wanted to do.

Living while suppressing

my true self

was something I just couldn't

do anymore.

I listened to the voice deep

within my heart.

Amidst those days spent like that,

I found myself vaguely longing for the life of a craftsman

who makes a living solely with their own skills...

(To be continued)